Lifestyle Medicine Stress Management

Chasing Peace

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I have spent a lifetime waiting for peace. Working for it, wrangling it, and negotiating with it. It’s been a lot like a laughing toddler slipping from my grasp and running ahead as I tried to wrestle it back into place.

I was positive that if I got into medical school life would finally be good. Only to find that, wait, no, if I get into residency it will be settled. This turned into peace once I find a job, once I get promoted, once I complete my thesis, or once I get perfect patient experience scores. Then, surely, I will finally be able to sit on top of my career aspirational mountaintop and rest.

I prayed once in bargaining fashion to find someone to marry, and then twice that we have a healthy child, and now repeatedly that these teenagers make it to adulthood without killing themselves. I’m sure once they find someone to marry, or once everyone is settled and happy, that then I can sit on my happy matriarchal couch and enjoy the situation.

I have told a friend that once I lose this weight, once I run a 5K, once my blood pressure is fixed, once I finally take up yoga, or when I retire and finally have more time, to de-stress and meditate that then I will be able to feel at peace and healthy.

I can’t tell you how many times in my life I am sure I finally will be rid of my worries and challenges and find peace, IF (insert desired outcome).

But sadly, chasing the outcome-based peace never came and stayed for more than an hour or two. There was always more work to do.

Most recently I was riddled with fear about this country’s upcoming national elections. I was full of what my husband describes as “piss and vinegar”. I was giving my political speech to him, throwing noble-cause punches into the air, all while still in my jammies.

But, he had to go help a friend move a refrigerator and I needed to get dressed to meet my friends for coffee, and so we both needed a little reprieve from my fervor. My husband easily stepped away from me, but I was stuck with me, and needed a little help.

I did what mentors have taught me and tried a prayer to help locate some peace. (I truthfully always do this reluctantly and as a last resort as I run out of my own solutions.)

Maybe you’ve been there too: Peace being held hostage to the future and a present full of fear that is hard to manage.

Soon after that prayer I found myself with friends talking about upcoming surgeries and other scary things, when an awful truth wedged its way into my consciousness. With the flash of a bright light turning on, my mind held the thought, “It won’t be done on November 6th.”

With this thought came a full and powerful realization that I will wake up on November 6th, and there will still be work to do. I will still need to figure out how I will be a citizen, how I will model to the younger, how I will build bridges to neighbors. I have this work to do today, AND I will still have this work to do later.

And strangely, that is where I found peace today. It was in the realization that it will never be done. There will always be a sunrise that comes with a day full of decisions about what work I will do. The assignment may change from school to residency to job, or from babies to young adult children, or from working for one civic issue that matters to another, but it will never be finished.

When I realized this truth, peace stopped being something that ran ahead of me like a laughing toddler trying to get away, and instead climbed right in my lap to be in the middle of the wild ride, with an eager face that said, “So where are we going next??”

Physical Activity

Workout Wednesday: Pool Time Friends!

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Because this is Workout Wednesday, No-Beach-Week-Hurricane edition I decided it appropriate to head into the pool.

I was a swimmer in high school, but I haven’t been in the water recently because a friend at a dinner party told us all about what she saw at the bottom of the deep end of the pool during a recent scuba certification class. For the good of all water sports, let’s all just agree never to speak of these things. Deal? Done!

But because I ultimately really trust in the power of chlorine I headed back to the pool today.

Ready for the best part? In the middle of my workout I reached out to the woman swimming next to me to ask her to take a few photos for the blog. As she turned toward me, I realized that I knew this woman! Dr. MCO and I were emergency physicians together for years. She wasn’t just a colleague; she was a mentor and someone I look-up to in spades. I would watch her walk into a male dominated area of medicine, always bringing Oreos for the resident doctors, and run a level one trauma center and emergency department like a boss. For me, this visual action image was more powerful than any words of encouragement or talk-up speech. If you’ve been to an emergency department near here, Dr. MCO likely trained your doctor to save your life. That is her life legacy from where I sit, but she’ll just tell you about her 3 year old grand-daughter; who I’m sure is equally as amazing!

It made my morning so special to get to talk with her again. Swimming can be solitary but social at the same time which always makes a workout more fun.

My Workout in swimmer speak:

First (100 swim, 100pull, 100 kick)x3

Second (25 fly, 12 pull-ups, 25 back, 12 v-sits ) x3

Third (150 swim, 50 fly kick, 50 back kick)x 3

Workout in regular people speak:

First I did 4 lengths of freestyle swim, 4 lengths of freestyle just pulling with my arms using paddles on my hands and a bouy on my legs, 4 lengths of freestyle kicking with flippers and a kick-board. I repeated this all two more times. I was warmed up!!

Second I swam I length of the pool in butterfly stroke and then I used the starting block to do 12 pull-ups. I then swam one length of the pool doing backstroke, jumped out of the pool and did these v-sits for ab work. I did this all 2 more times!

Third I swam freestyle for 6 lengths of the pool, then grabbed my kick-board and fins and kicked butterfly kick for 2 lengths of the pool followed by backstroke kick for 2 lengths of the pool. I repeated all that two more times!

Dr. MCO gave me some tips as well including paddles for pulling that have holes in them that can be great for beginners. She also showed me a ring swim counter that you can click with each lap so that you can swim -and be in peace- while it helps you keep track of laps.

That is all for work-out Wednesday water edition for today. Keep your heart healthy…and just a little jolly!

Whole Food Plant Based Diet

What I Eat Monday! August 5th, 2024

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Well, today, beach week turned into only beach weekend as hurricane Debby arrived to join us. She had us dragging our feet while trying to accept the fact we needed to leave, binge watching The Weather Channel, and then with inward groaning hurriedly packing up the car as the rain started to intensify.

Breakfast was a deliciously ripe nectarine with oatmeal and soy milk and a drizzle of honey. My own “peaches and cream”. We were still in the non-acceptance faze as we drank coffee and stared at the clouds gathering.

Lunch was in the car as we tried to battle the outer bands of Hurricane Debby up the eastern SC coast. I had thrown in our groceries from the beach house and dug out a package of blueberries and a package of edamame. Oreos were being eaten in the backseat, so I had a few of these as well to help calm the nerves.

Dinner was at Mexican with a fancy mocktail to ease the pain of a missed beach week with friends and family and a bowl of black beans, rice, lettuce, and tomato. Followed by a walk to “walk it all off” as my husband says… I think he means the food, but the time in nature helped me walk off a bit of my blues as well.

It wasn’t a perfect healthy diet day, but because it was a super stressful day, it could’ve been worse. Just like this beach week was not perfect, but it could’ve also been much worse: we are all safe and home and Sammy Dog got a long walk .

Positive Social Connection Stress Management

The Space In Between

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Welcome to The Jolly Heart; Beach Week Edition! It’s a week of travel, family time, and seeing good friends. Routines will be upended, unanticipated challenges will come, cooking will be for multitudes, and new memories will be made. It’s a vacation, but it also has moments of chaos.

I have been thinking of chaos lately. It might be because I live with young adult children, my job can keep me on my toes, and the news has never been newsier. It all leads to days of feeling unsettled. I try to pay attention to getting movement and eating well, but I also tend to something I call The-Space-In-Between to get some relief.

I had a mentor tell me once to draw a circle around my feet and look down. This is what I could control. This was the space I was in charge of managing. It contained my own body and mind, but, I also realized that circle encompasses the space in between my feet and yours.

If I was New Age I might call it my Aura, but Lifestyle Medicine doctors call it “Social Connection”. It is a very important contributor to our health and as important as not smoking to our longevity.

When I first started paying attention to The Space In Between I went after low hanging fruit. Not using my middle finger while driving meant a successful day for me. It’s important, I believe, to realize when we put our frustration and exhaustion into The Space In Between. It affects those around us and we have no idea of fully knowing what’s going on in their circle and at their feet. Snapping at my husband after a long day at work, barking at my kids to clean up, sarcasm, eye rolling, denigrating another behind their back or on social media; these are all examples of how I can, unthinkingly, pollute up their space with my own fear, my own frustration at the clunkiness of life, my own desire to have it all the way I like it. It can hurt worse than a slap to the face and it creates a divide: not only between me and them, but also between me and others witnessing. There are no bridges and connections being built. And without these connections, research tells us, we are taking years off our own life.

After controlling for pollution, I started to challenge myself in The Space In Between to try some beautification. Small things like eye contact and a smile with a cashier, sending emails with gratitude folded around the business needing done, thanking my family for their own acts of kindness, bringing curiosity and grace to other’s anger and frustration. I started to sprinkle those beautification seeds everywhere I went and I felt different. I felt happier regardless of what others around me were doing in their space. I was tending my space and it made me feel healthy and strong in a world full of chaos.

On our beach-bound road trip we stopped in a Wendy’s. While my family ordered the food, I noticed the straw/napkin/utensil station was a mess. Trash overflowing on the counter around the trash holes, no napkins, low on utensils, etc. “Sheesh, Wendy’s,” I thought, “my grandpa, a man with an eye for details and the original lover of the Wendy’s Frosty would be disappointed.”

I went up to the counter to ask for some napkins- because road trips can never have too many napkins-and the gentleman sighed in a kind and tired way and grabbed at a large wrapped brown paper package. As he ripped open the big package of napkins, he muttered as much to himself as me, “Everyone called in today…I was on my way to replace these..”. He offered me as many napkins as I needed before he was called by another customer to ring up an order. I looked at my feet and imagined that circle…all of it…and I grabbed a few fist-fulls of napkins and put them in the napkin dispensers best that I could. (I obviously missed the employee training session about Wendy’s napkin dispensers.) I hoped it bought our guy a few more minutes to do the job himself. My husband chuckled and said, “You’re hired!” and my teen just looked slightly embarrassed, but there it was: The Space In Between.

Just like my garden, I don’t always get it right, I never get it perfect, but it’s where I see magic and holiness happen, and for me, where I see my God at work: The Space In Between your feet and mine -in a world full of chaos- is important.

Whole Food Plant Based Diet

What I Eat Monday! July 29, 2024

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This morning started off with oatmeal and blueberries. I microwave this for a minute or so and then add a bit of soy milk.

For lunch I did my favorite recipe called “throw stuff in a bowl.” I had some spinach which I topped with farro and white bean mixture that I cooked this weekend. I also added some baked tofu cubes. (See below on how to bake tofu-yum!) I had pulled some small purple carrots and sugar beets from the garden because the cantaloupe vines were running them over. I almost threw them in the compost because they were tiny, but instead I wrapped them in foil and had my husband roast them this weekend while he was grilling. I added those and some cherry tomatoes and hot sauce.

For my sweet tooth snack I love to take Medjool dates and stuff them with peanuts and vegan chocolate chips. I also have been eating more protein in the handy snack of edamame which has 14g for 1/3 of a cup.

I did not want to cook dinner, so we did some Indian take-out from Nawab. I usually get Chana Masala, but opted for the yellow lentil dal. I added some spinach to the rice and dal and it was super yummy!

How to Bake Tofu:

1. Buy a package of extra firm tofu

2. Drain the water, slice to half the thickness/two thinner blocks

3. Press the two blocks between paper towels for 15-30 min. (I pile on a cooking board with canned goods on top for weight.)

4. Heat oven to 350

5. Cut tofu into cubes and dress with favorite sauce. There are lots of recipes online. I love to mix soy sauce, melted peanut butter, and hot pepper flakes. Sometimes I shake it around with corn starch first to make it crispier. Sometimes I marinate it overnight in the fridge for more flavor.

6. Bake at 350 in oven for 10 minutes then flip and do 10 more minutes on other side.

7. Enjoy!

In the winter I roast some veggies each week for lunches and the tofu is easy enough to add into the oven and bake with the veggies.

Whole Food Plant Based Diet

What I eat Monday!July 15th 2024

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Breakfast with grape-nuts, blueberries, and soy milk
Lunch of black bean dinner leftovers with rice over greens and corn and no-bake cookies

Grape-nuts have 90% of you daily iron and that is a great way to start the day. The lunch leftovers were from a dinner I made this weekend: Costa Rican Style Spinach, Potato, and Black Beans. It’s a go-to quick dinner where you sauté 1c chopped onion and a couple cloves of minced garlic for a few minutes in vegetable broth and then start opening cans. Dump in a can of diced tomatoes with green chilis, a can of sliced potatoes (drained), and a can of black beans (drained and rinsed). Add in a tsp of cumin, a TBSP tomato paste and 1/2 cup water. Boil or simmer for 10 minutes until thickened then throw in 4-6c spinach leaves and 1/4c chopped cilantro and some hot sauce for 3-4 more minutes. Viola! Serve over rice or with crusty whole grain bread. I just put the leftovers onto some greens and added some corn for lunch today.

After lunch it wasn’t the best nutrition today because what is not pictured is the Oreos and Coke Zero. And while these are vegan they are not “whole food”. These are my coping vice because this weekend the news cycle had me despondent. It wasn’t the events per se, but rather knowing we had planted zucchini seeds all over. and then watching the looks and words of disbelief when zucchini sprouted up and grew. The disconnect made me feel like maybe the world has gone slightly mad. When you plant zucchini, you pretty dependably grow zucchini. And if this is not a vegetable you like, then yes, I suppose it is tragic, but not surprising at all. Sad that it was not realized to be the wrong seed in the first place, perhaps. Sad beyond words.

Shop the Sides
Tacos with black beans, cilantro, tomato, and onion

For dinner comfort food was still top of mind so Mexican was our jam. I like to look at the “sides” on a menu and see what I can do. Tacos sounded good so I asked for the 3 tacos with black beans instead of meat. They were delicious.

During that dinner I finally found words to talk about my great sadness. It must have been the tacos. And then we took a walk outside.

Probably I should have tried tacos, talking, and nature before Oreos, but some days you sail smooth, being the change you want to see, and some days you just hold on during the choppy ride while waving an Oreo wildly in one hand.

Positive Social Connection

The Separateness Lie

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Am I the only one that has times of feeling alone living on a planet of a billion people?

A better word might be disconnect.

Disconnected is different from being alone. I have felt disconnected in a room full of people and I have felt connected while totally alone.

When I am connected I feel part of a larger whole. This state seems to be intricately tied to my mental health and well-being, and it was how I first understood the word “God”.

God started for me, and still is, the whole thing. The bigger thing to which I belong. I am a part, and I am connected to all the other parts. Or as yogis like to say, “Namaste”.

When my youngest child was learning violin the teacher explained to him that when he played the E note on his violin using other strings, my son’s E string would start to vibrate. Something in the space between the strings was connecting them. It is called resonance.

When I’m feeling disconnected, it is that space in-between that I need to tune into. I am seeking resonance.

How each of us does this is quite individual, but it always takes a form of bridge making, that you feel more often than see.

Nature is often a bridge from the larger whole to each of us. There is a practice of going outside and looking up at the sky when someone feels lost. The posture is so universal that you can visualize it immediately. When we look at the sky, or a beautiful tree, body of water, or large vista we are automatically connecting with what is larger than ourselves. Try it. Go on outside, take a deep breath, and look up. Feel it? Resonance. We are outside of our little self-in the space between-if only for a moment.

Artists often connect by creating. Their art is a bridge made from them to you. Our souls resonate through time while looking at what has been created. Writers do this too by building mental bridges of shared humanity that can be powerful.Speech and vision setting are other forms of connecting art. I notice this particular lack from leaders in the world today. I crave hearing a vision of our shared space with a sort of pleading desperation letter that I can’t figure out where to send.

Too often I get task oriented, but when wise people advise to listen, not just hear, or to be present, not just solve, I believe they are speaking of the sacredness of this space. Truly seeing another person, or hearing their soul is rare today. Caring for the divine in that space between is where I see God.

The greatest truth I know is that we are all connected to each other. For good or bad, neglected or nourished, this truth will remain.

And in a world that sometimes get transactional with broken bridges everywhere, I remain convinced that this bridge building, creating resonance, tending the space between, will be the most important work we do for our health.

We are built to build it, feel it, and respond to it, as surely as the violinist’s E-string.

Physical Activity

Lunch time Move

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I decided that instead of napping after lunch this week, I would take 30 minutes and add some body movement.

I am a lunch napper and so this idea is a big change for me. After I eat lunch, I love to close my eyes and catch a 15 minute nap. My dog loves to join me in our together Power Nap Time.

For a small new habit change, this week at lunch I started doing a 0.5mile walk around the block, 12 upright shoulder presses with hand weights, 12 standing tricep presses, 25 squats with bicep curls, 12 standing side bends with weights-each side, and 25 dead bugs on my back with weights.

It’s hot outside for a walk but for 10 minutes I embrace the slight sweat. Enough to move, but not enough to mess the hair is the goal. I don’t change into full workout gear or shower after this new habit because that’s not the idea. I am just trying to add movement.

I found that I don’t miss the nap! I look forward to the fresh air and the music I put in my ears. I feel energized to a greater degree than with my nap, and my dog joins with me in movement too. He is pretty convinced that it’s our play time together and this makes me smile…even as I get a large dog toy thrown at me during my dead bug abs!

What can you do mid-day to increase your movement? Join me in mine!

Ps. If you are on Facebook, look up and like our Facebook page: The Jolly Heart. Share our posts that others might find helpful!

Lifestyle Medicine Whole Food Plant Based Diet

What I Eat Monday! July 8, 2024

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Welcome to a new feature called, “What-I-eat-Monday”. On Mondays I will show you what I eat in a day on a whole food plant-based diet.

Today was a special Monday because it was the first Monday back to work after vacation week. I always make sure to dig into my Lifestyle Medicine principles during these transitions. I got up and exercised, meditated, and checked my blood pressure.

Exercising at the 5 am hour after vacation week
Blood pressure still looking normal

Then I ate a breakfast of oatmeal, blueberries, cinnamon, and soy milk and packed a lunch of leftover Chickpea salad, pita bread, greens from the garden, and cucumber salad

Breakfast
Lunch
Snack

The chickpea salad is just some chopped veggies like celery, carrot, green onion, with raisins and chickpeas and then mixed with oil free hummus thinned with some fresh lemon juice. I sprinkle cinnamon in there too for a surprisingly great flavor.

For a snack I had some fresh nectarines and some whole grain cranberry pecan bread.

Then I made a quick and easy dinner of Quinoa taco meat. This is so easy to do as you boil veg broth (1c) and add in 1/2 cup quinoa, 1TBSP chili powder, 1tsp cumin, 1/2tsp paprika and 1/2tsp oregano, with 1/4tsp each of onion and garlic powder. Boil for 15 minutes.

This is the MOST yummy taco filling! Toppings are cabbage, tomato, avocado and salsa. I love these taco shells as we’ll

Dinner

After dinner it was time for a walk and some garden time to unwind

Our resident frog

I hope you had a great Monday and cheers to a good lifestyle and a good life!

Positive Social Connection

Circles

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The Lion King is famous for the song, “The Circle of Life”. Most of us can picture Mufasa, holding up little Simba, proud and full of love. When I picture the scene in the Lion King, I feel my eyes crinkle into a smile and my shoulders relax.

But there is an opposite to the Circle of Life. There is the Circle of Fear. I am no stranger to this place. But I’m sure I have underestimated it exponentially. I have judged fear, or anxiety, or stress, or insecurity, or any of its pseudonyms, as a trivial individual concern.

I know what fear does to me. It’s a focusing inward posture and thought process. I think up ways to mitigate, to reassure, to be safe. Perhaps I need a new petition or a law, a new tonic or drug, perhaps I need to look thinner or use hair dye, maybe I need to subtly lift myself up at the expense of my neighbor. At its most harmful I need to find an enemy to blame.

It feels like there is not enough. And it’s catchier than a pandemic. Unless skilled like a Jedi, you start to fall ill when surrounded by it. “Why was I so naive,” you think to yourself as you join the sick circle of fear and pass it on. scarcity of resources blinks like a neon warning light.

You go get the new alarm system, buy the gun, don’t go to the music hall for fear of someone else and their gun. You shutter up the shop that offers your gifts to the world. And the only thing you have to offer the person next to you is…more of the same fear.

Circle complete.

I am convinced that fear is our worst contagious disease and our greatest public health threat.

I haven’t found the cure, but I have found a few things to break out of the fear racetrack. The good news is that these things are always available, and they are free.

You just chose. The circle of Life. Or the Circle of Fear.

Choosing Life means choosing the substance of Life as illustrated in the famous scene from the Lion King. Choose belief and love. Choose faith. Choose to see the other in front of you. Listen to people around you and learn their hearts, not just their words. Practice humility and really laugh. Serve. Share your gifts boldly. Stop hiding them. Let me repeat that: Stop Hiding You.

Live Namaste, Matthew 7:12, or your own personal version of the same.

In the end, the Circle of Fear gets us alone and afraid and convinced that the Circle of Life is not real. But in the end, your Life is the only real thing of any value you can leave behind. Choose well…and then go infect the others with reckless abandon.